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Sunday, November 2, 2008
this is an edited coment:hi readers,please dont waste your time reading the below post cos i find it pointless and really quite lame. end of edit- take 1:(the naggy approach) Dear Blog, Nothing much has happened today. i slept at 6:30+am and woke at 10pm today, went for piano, went home, and slacked. i always turn to you when i need to voice out my thoughts, or just to have something occupy time. hi, youre my virtual friend. you're better than a diary because i'm an a friend of the Earth and i dont want to waste paper, even though yeah, i'm wasting fuel by using electricity, but...even if i dont blog, i' still switch the computer on so as to keep the music flowing in my room. makes sense to put 2 birds to sleep with 1 jab, right? okaes,anyway. tsk. aiyo, i dont know if i should really blog this. k, i'll try to make it as un-specific as possible. i feel so akward now-_- sometimes, its painful for us to know the truth but it hurts even more people to keep denying, ya know? ok,this makes no sense as to what i actually want to talk about.i was about to continue "know the truth, but i know i'm not influential...etc"but erm, it felt quite...weird.so i just changed the sentence and now it has no link with what i'm saying. ok,back to topic. i know i'm not influential. but i want to be the one to stand by you. i want to have the shoulder you'd cry on, i want to have the number you'd remember without writing it down, i want to have the name that comes to your mind first when you hear "love" i want to be the first person you seek help from. aiya,whatever. i want to stand by you la, in short. ): but sometimes, and most times, what you want is not what you get. wait.please ignore the above chunk of words.let me start over again. ____________________________________________________ take 2:(the direct approach) i know i'm too caught up with being friends to become someone you can look up to. it feels too late to change that. i dont know what you think of me. maybe thats why i hesistate standing before you and leading you. i'm afraid of rejection. if you were to turn away and go the other direction, i think i'd just crumble on the spot and let the wind blow me away. shiate.i dont dare to know what you think of me. sometimes, it sucks that the ground is non-living, cos it doesnt respond when i silently cry:please,just swallow me up and hide me now. do people get used to falling down? makes me think of the video about the racing kid who kept falling down and finished the race last. his dad was proud of him in the end though, and so was the crowd. but, hais, i'm not that much of a peabrain you know. i understand that the whole video was staged, and directed upon a script. ): things in life are not so simple. why cant everybody just cancel the race and take a nice stroll around a garden or something? why must people make life a race. whats the use of improvement? people in the stone ages seemed contented with rock-paints, yet we complain about lousy qualities of acrylic paint...etc.(thats just a random example) no matter how fast you run, everybody still ends up at the same finishing line. perhaps if you had gone slower and had taken time to appreciate your surroundings etc, you'd have won something better. something like,... up to your imagination. sian. there's a fine line between emoing and reflecting. i'd better not cross it. bye. |
Drakon
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