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Saturday, November 1, 2008
eat away.eat away.eat away.engulf. gulp. twirl and swirl and jump and hurl. andandand. so many ands. i dont like red. no red. red blood. red hot ambition. red hot passion. red hot anger. red hot lies. red hot sunburns. red hot results. red hot arguments. red dull guilt. red. ambitious people. dont like. daredevils. may not like. all linked to red. chinese new year. red. nothing much about it. calm serene blue. swift blue.smooth blue. silky ribbon of blue. soft blue. sweet blue. fluffy blue. translucent blue. blue ribbons. first place. pigs like wilbur who win pig contests get blue ribbons. blue. red is too much to handle. blue it. blue is cold. blue gives frost bites. blue is resignation. blue is suffocation. blue is the leftover of red when passion dies. blue is always behind red. "red and blue.red and blue." havent heard lots of people say "blue and red.blue and red." sorry.i'm just bored and guess i'm feeling a little bo liao. i was just wondering some moments ago about what happens when life ceases. as in, your body materials go into dirt and is renewed back to the Earth. your soul flies up to the God your religion looks upon. what about the memories you accumulated on Earth? what about the feelings? where do they go. they cant just disappear. they are considered energy because eg. anger is converted to heat. energy cannot be destroyed or created. they can be converted. in life, feelings and memories are converted from the energy released by events. (whatever that means.but at least you know that they originate from events right.) in death, is it released into air? or transferred to somebody elses' physical body? doesnt it irk you that a piece of tissue you've just used may last longer than you will? hmm. if the world is a tree, and we leave marks of our existance by scratching our names upon it, as years go by, others would write over our names. then what was the use of putting in so much effort to scratch it in the first place, knowing that it'd be erased from memory sooner or later? erm, i suddenly forgot why i'm typing all these. just a colourful moment i guess. ______________________________- i'm still kinda upset about grass. sigh): ive never had it before atc07. and now its getting quite frequent. just as well that i wont really be in much contact with grass anymore cos of the way the world's so obsessed about technology and land clearance. _______________________________ i cant find my chem worksheet. the one about periodic table. little setback in my studying plans. since its overdue. i'm not even sure if ive received it(which i think i most probably did) but i really cant find it. there's a 65% chance that i have the worksheet. 100% chance that i've lost it. 30% chance i may find it if i continue searching. 50% chance i'll only find it when i'm 60 years old. now i'm 98% emoing about it. minor setback, big impact. big fat failure. sighing doesnt seem like a good way to solve problems. but, sigh. teoee makes me feel like giving up. she's bad company. but yet, we share the same mind, same body, same soul. cant escape her. cant escape me. i've got my goals. i want to strive for studies. but she's got her reasons for hesitating from the fight, and she wants to give up because she's lost the little confidence she had left by investing it stupidly in a chem worksheet. which she conveniently lost. lost both worksheet and will to continue. what a retard. she believes that giving up would stop the passage to remorse and guilt, and the way to regret too. i think she believes wrongly. sigh.how to convince her? stop talking to yourself, teo. |
Drakon
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