Sunday, October 1, 2017
i changed my mind omg i dont wna socialise tmrrr nooo!!
i dont wna make new friends i dont have it in me to be extroverted anymore wodemayaaaa

i went to read this thing i wrote and kept for my self, and its sad.
sometimes i imagine an older me consoling the me now. so i have someone.
i type out my thoughts, and look now, the older me is reading what the then-me had written.
while i cannot console her, i can empathize, and maybe thats not bad either.

issit self-love?
but i was shocked by my own candidness. though i know i probably had had even more raw things to say. even from myself also muz hold bak. boo. humji.

hi! im back!
is it i must blog with a vengeance now to make up for lost time?
no la no la,
i just wna talk.

i want to go out ley. by myself.
but i dont wna go out.

i have nth to say.


hahaha i just went to see my old posts since im reminiscing right,
but wtf i was an embarrassment HAHA pls dont rmb me like that hahaha

hello i'm finally back!!
who's still here, kee chiu! :D
(hha i came across this keechiu thing on facebook comments. cute leh!)

i know its not a new song but i'm now listening to gao bai qiqiu by jaychou!
why do his songs make me feel like its the sec3 times again haha

time to blog, time to daydream, time to use many smileys and exclamation marks in my posts.
- to youth!

reflection time.
to all the "stalkers on the internet" that my parents used to warn me about, who will find out where i live and what i do by my photos and micro-info,...
i am 24 this year.

so i guess at this age i'm not supposed to feel old, because i'm only about 30% done loading..assuming i live till 80. but i do.

wearing frumpy workclothes, meeting friends to "catch-up" instead of "hang out", having no crush (but got rs luh, which adds to the adultness?) and having admirers become liabilities... i really feel like... *groans*

so maybe ive got to thank these songs to being me back to the feels.
singlehood was fun, not because i was single but because i was young hahahah.
oh shit look im talking in past tense again.

i was once told, by a senior guy on msn, that i use too many smileys. it makes sense. but i didnt really change very much though i thought it'd be a good idea to, cos i felt unfriendly if i just said "haha"
instead of "haha :D". like, is that haha a cool laugh or a snicker, if there isnt a smiley beside it, right?
ok just a random recollection luh. dno what really triggered it also.
maybe cos guilty for typing liddis after so long.

anyway, long way to go luh. 80 is a long way to go. dno whether sian anot but time'll pass by without my active role in it so i dont need to worry bout it.

i'm still the same. i still daydream. impossible scenarios, but why spend my imagination quota on something real right?

i've been reluctant to make new friends since about thesis year. but i didnt really meet a lot of new people so my antisocial-ness didnt seem so strong. but at work i can feel it. yet, there are some mates who seem to want to befriend me and perhaps i'm the only one being stuck in the "too old for xxx" mentality. maybe this is an opportunity to make friends and be vibrant again.

oh i bumped into jovina while out with the aki gang yesterday. felt so nice to see her albeit momentarily only!

i think, at my new office, since i'm not in a consultant firm like others are, i have the opportunity to reclaim my lost social life. soon. soon. once i'm content with the time i've had for myself.
for now, i just want it to be all me.

at times, i purposely want to seem older because i think it might help me at work. but maybe i'm just kidding myself haha.

i want to be 15 again. :> maybe its time. come find me! let's reconnect!(by text maybe haha i'm still too lazy to do meet-ups)

at least 24yo no need to do jianbao BAHAHA


get one from cbox!
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