Sunday, May 31, 2009

empty laughs are funny on their own.

was talking to moguixiaomei about general things.
about the irony in life, of life.

yeah im totally mad.
talking to a toy bear at the age of 16 is sooooo wrong.

i should be hanging out with girlfriends in their pink, lacey,sweet rooms, stroking their cats, spooning ice cream into their mouths(and wherever else i can), sharing the latest gossips, etc.

either that or scrawling the name of the guy i like on my bedroom walls, and dancing with a pillow while pretending its him.

or i could be listening to hard rock music, eating pizza on my bed, gulping juices from straight from its carton, and wiping my mouth later with one of the million black, gothic shirts that i own.

but instead,
i laze on my bed all day and talk to a toy bear about life.
sharing my belief about how soft toys understand the silence of earth as a language,
and how humans have become too self centered to listen to anything other than themselves,
which is why we cannot hear words of wisdom that stems from rocks, trees, flowers, etc.
they have been observing us for years,
and they know how the world moves.
blah blah.

all empty thoughts.


mdm arfah is one of a kind.
she will really find out whats ailing you and fix it,
even before you realise that you're unwell.
: )
i want to be like her.
come on baby, lemme fix you> : )


was thinking that You Love Me takes more courage and trust to say than I Love You.
You Love Me dont you?> : D

dont deny.HAHAAAA.

my hair's so screwed that even the prospect of balding seems good.


im glad for the emancipation of women.
: )


hey i think youre very very pretty(:
too bad im straight.


you only talk to me when you need me to do you a favour.
and i'm so sick of it.

stop being so polite.
especially if you mean to emphasize our distance and how our relationship is one of two strangers.

i wont be surprised if you start calling me Miss Teo Ee Zhang Yi instead of teoee.
im not expecting teo.

given the circumstances, i just thought we would both want to bridge the difference.
apparently, after years of lying to myself, i'm finally disillusionized and know that its a one-sided affair.

well, suit yourself.
im at no loss.

hi. just in case anyone misunderstands, i dont mean one-sided affair as in a girl-guy thing.
this is, ironically, a girl-girl thing.
hope nobody else reads it wrongly: D

Saturday, May 30, 2009
Dear Life,

i know you're disappointed with me.
but i can be disappointed with you too.
so stop throwing your weight about and get going.

i am drinking wang wang pao pao guo dong(bubble jelly drink wang wang brand).

" go make your dream come for it."

yea right.with so many distractions around,its really quite impossible.
things that are urgent, things that are important, things that we MUST do in order to achieve our dreams(at least people claim so), often brings us on a wild goose chase for our real dreams.
waste time.

Thursday, May 28, 2009
i wanna sleep.

it looked nice right after the cut.
but uh, now its just as messy as ever.


(went to cut hair with jenn and hanxi. o.o random decision that stemed from our initial plan to take lunch together.haha.funny things happened.lazy to update.)

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

i like 4K more and more: D

mathed until 6pm today.
hours and hours of math,
but i didnt sleep.

must be because i slept early yesterday, phew lucky me: D

i want to change seats with ruonan!
might have better fengshui haha(:

oh, and i sublime because of your extreme heat: )
hi hottie.

Monday, May 25, 2009
up down left right

esther tan, tzyy, ella, banana, huangching

: D
got the photo from esther nyahaha

i wanted to go read some storybooks over at the library today.
but i went there, and...

woke up at 830pm and went home.

and i wanna sleep again.

slept at 4am and woke at 551am today.
no wonder right.

got niaoed by usan lihui jenn hans at the bus stop today about the geog presentation.
Doria the explorer!
sound travels far.
lol 4J heard us-.-

wangduo sings well: )
cip tmr, gotta sing feiyuqing songs.
and gosh, i either go too low, high, or somewhere in between,
but i can never hit the pitch that's similar to the original song.
______________________ it just me, or...
nevermind.forget it.


Sunday, May 24, 2009
hmm.piano lesson today(:
wasnt bad at all except that i couldnt make it at 11am and had to switch it to 2pm instead.

my sight reading is hopeless, and my pieces have many unnatural pauses cause i cant play fluently-.-
but today was ok(:

aw mien. admire those who can play piano like nobody's business.
fiona, ruonan, etc.

slept at 4am yesterday.
this is bad.
body clock malfunctioning.
i'm thinking i should not go to school with the other 2 pigs tmr.
the 3 little pigs would be safer if they meet another day.
if not, ltr i kena harassed by the big bad wolf called lateness how?):

oh well(:
at least 1 little pig would be giving me a morning call(:
that must be the prettiest pig ive come across.

im in such a tangle):
mon 7am meet for algorithm march with hanxi and gang,
8am meet for song-session with wangduo and gang,
and im not even sure what wanying told me the other day. i'm not in the HAHAHA dance right?D:ive NEVER practiced leh.
dont know what time but on monday morning i'm meeting p2 for patrol passing down too!
we're doing it after p1 so i wont be able to gauge the time i'll have to be there):

isnt the morning just 7 and 8am combined?
k so if i have to choose, i'd obviously go for p2's ceremony(opps sorry hans honey) and algorithm march, got so many guides there(hans and fio), can manage de la.
: D
but then wangduo's song thingy hor, if i dont go, i'm screw CIP up on tue!
there are ancient songs that i need to learn,
many of which are either in bahasa or from feiyuqing's era so gosh, HOW WOULD I KNOW HOW TO SING IF I DONT GO PRACTICE WITH THEM?

and i have this really irritating cough that comes suddenly when i least expect it(usually in air conditioned rooms) and it'd be embarassing if i sudden coughed like i had lung cancer in front of the old folks at the sri something home.

and worse thing is, its not as if i was superstar-voiced in the first place, now with this #%&$#@ cough, i'd sound like a dehydrated croaking toad-.-
ok yeah i exagerated. i dont sound THAT bad, but its not what i'd like to sound):


k, gotta settle some guide stuff(:
gna scan scan guide cookie box designing competition details to orchid.
other guides who'd like to get the softcopy of the cookie box thing, ask from any orchidite and see if they're kind enough to send you too lol.
(they'd probably be quite kind hahaha.p2 de mah)

yeah whatever.
basically thats all i wanted to blog.
(oh and actually i didnt eat a million pears.just 3 in one morning.quite little-.-)

oh, and i'm thinking i should trust that you wouldnt lie(:
if you do, i'll take it easy too.
i dont wanna be those kinda girls that you see on tv ya know.
kicking up a fuss over nothing...etc.
(my most girl-associated fault would be that i turn up late all the time-.-)
: )
yerp, teoee aint gna be miserable over something like that: D

oh, i screwed up somebody's present today):


: Di shall sleep le.

wanna talk to esther tan again.

i'll go visit my dream self.
either that, or wake up from this dream and enter reality in bed, under my blankey.

shiet, i want to see a counsellor.


: D

haha : )

explaning myself is of no use, especially since youre already making assumptions and doubting me.
why try to salvage a relationship when its base, called trust, has already been abused?

haha.irony is present in so many situations(:

contraceptive methods 不成功也能成人。

the earth would be a prettier place without humans.
but without humans, who would appreciate its beauty?

i dont know.

things to do:
-learn songs by mon(6 of them?)for auditions
-meet up on mon morn
-math lor
-piano theory
-piano prac
-do up pillow
--.-stop feeling so #$6@%!#

geog project today: )
my room was real packed.

painted the boat, and it was really quite,
especially since i was doing it with 4k mateys: D

went for eds thingy with shiyi cos esther(tan) had an extra ticket(:
shiyi was amazed at how disorganized i am.
couldnt find a top, couldnt get a skirt, and wasnt able to find a yellow bag(to match yellow top-.-)

anyway, had fun talking to shiyi(:
went to kallang and took a bus. shiyi got off earlier to meet shujun.
i met lizzle(is it?) and kaiyuan and we went to meet esther at the foyer together: D
esther was damn sexy,hahahaaha.

then sat in a row with huangching, esther(tan), kaiyuan, lizzle(?),and some other girls whose names i didnt know o.o

then performance ended.
wl. still got people go cheer and display their aesthetic and moral "stupidity"(those who went'd understand that im echoeing mr ken's monologue)

met esther(hong) yizhen hillary at the toilet when i went with huangching.

esther gave hweechian a cactus!

saw hweechian dance haha
lol hott leh: D

then went home with tzyyshuan ella esther(tan) huangching.
tzyy was dressed so elegantly lor.
hahaha, we were all teasing her furiously> : )
then she go wrap herself up with a jacket-.-
hahahaa but it grew too warm and she finally ditched it at the bus stop.

ella was so cool looking hahaha.
gosh if only guys in real life were as cool as her...HAHA aw.

shiyi looked really cute HAHA.
soft colours really suit her : D
it gives her a deceivingly cuddly look =\

huangching was in royal purple.
gay gay HAHA.
no lol actually it was cute too!
though in a different sense from shiyi.
shiyi's the teddy cute style, huangching's the doll cute style.

esther tan was xing gan de lor!
woah lucky dhs area not alot of...coloured wolves.
or am i wrong about that?O.O

best of all, regardless of their dressing, they were all so pretty both in and out!
: D

anyway, yea so after bus ride and mrt ride, walked home and ate dinner-.-
and i havent done any piano stuff.

(i think i forgot to mention, but i felt bad today.doesnt sound like it eh?haha.i omitted some things mah; Danyway, lets forget about that.haha.bye.)

Friday, May 22, 2009 im still online.
watched ghost whisperer and it was O.O

received some kind smses(:

wanna thank mdm arfah for caring so much about 4k(:

did algorithm march today.
taught those who are doing it for the performance.
: D
hanxi had the song: )

was late to mrt.
first time(again) in days.
was insistant on trying to redeem myself this morning,
but my sudden enthusiasm's lost.
too many things going on.

i rolled my eyes at papa during dinner.
though i wasnt sure why.
was just reverting to my usual qian bian jiak sai look.
he just stared and had that "why did i ever teach you how to roll them all the way back so i wouldnt see the pupil" sort of look.
when youre young, they teach you to talk.
once you get older, they cant wait for you to shut up.
same principle eh?

lihui-ed home today(:
as in, took lihui's car with liying.

truth or dare with p2 was fun, though i felt like a grown up playing on a children's slide.
dyu get that feeling?
its like,
lol i dont know.
i felt old-.-
and out of place, but still, fun: )

bahhhh weiwei: D

shiyi is crazy.really.gosh i never knew.

and im fascinated by the youtube dance video that wanying showed me the other day!
so cool!: D

and ruonan lent me her chem corrections: D


wanted to blog about today, but im too tired le.

wanted to practice piano pieces, but am too sleepy.

today was great.i like spending time with p2 Orchid(:
and hey, i never knew orchidites had things going on with rayfish, eagle, and seahorse o.o

i knew my patrol better today.
(lol i think.)

shall sleep at 10.10pm.byebye.
(oh and i think 4k's a cocoa bean.interpret that yourself: D )
too lazy to explain, and its neither positive nor neutral, and not negetive.


oh hi f.
i forgot that there's math homework.

this is so not worth it.
why am i busying myself with things that arent beneficial to me?
i should just be a selfish brat.
at least then i can get what i want, isnt that so?
isnt this the principle all of you lead your lifes by?


i cant wait for then.

Thursday, May 21, 2009
absence doesnt make the heart grow fonder.


these things just keep happening.
whatever la.

little people):


drained these days.
not like anyone cares.


why cant you see how she's trying to care instead of seeing how she reacts to our ill-treatment to her?


damn.i havent packed guides u
damn havent pack file
damn need to sleep.

cannot be emo tmr.
cos thrs guides, and thr's bus 14 ride with 3 little pigs(:
(big bad wolf?)

Wednesday, May 20, 2009
happy birthday to sunshine jennifer!:D

(by jenn)

thanks for the many times you that you had helped me,
thanks for telling me to study,
thanks for lending me your notes in the bus,
thanks for going to school with me,
thanks for being my friend,
thanks for being such an easy person to talk to,
thanks for talking to me and telling me things that you only tell your close friends,
thanks for being so pretty,
thanks for being funny,
thanks for being sensible(especially when i'm not D: )
thanks for being crazy(when i'm being serious)
thanks for being seh,
and thanks for being jenn(:

though we were never in the same patrol for any guides activity,
we still became good friends!
that's so cool,hahaha.

youre a true to others and will go all out to help those in need: D
plus, you display an orangey, yellowy aura.
always so happy and stuff haha
a definite E(xtrovert)

that thing is so lucky to have you!

(so am i,hahaha)

simply because you dont deserve anything less.
really love you alot,

i'd still want to meet you in our next lives,
: D

happy birthday.
(watch NC16 movies!)

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

happy birthday xiaowei!!
you remind me of brown:D
and i love brown!

its a down-to-earth colour, yet very warm and natural.
which totally describes you!
youre the source of life: D
brown soil.
giving rise to young, green plants.
aw imagine the imagery mentioned!O.O

anyway, thankyou so much for your everlasting support, your ever-ready listening ear,
thanks for hearing me rant during orientation when i got fed up(lol)
thanks for helping me copy math(just to clarify and not get us into trouble, i mean thanks for copy my math draft onto a clean sheet of paper for me)
thanks for being so huggable,
so nice-smelling,
so honest,
so fun,
so thoughtful and caring: D

you always put others before self, and i really admire that!: D

loved the time as BANGBANGS : D
and actually, as alt tab too!
in short, love the time as guides together: D

have a sweet 16th birthday: D

its like knowing Cinderella's story by heart since young, and suddenly being told that Cinderella's a villian who cut up her sister's gown the night before the ball.

ive heard too many sides of the story.
and my believe is now back into a pumpkin.
the magic has ended,maybe?

whatever.shall ignore whatever i dont want to not ignore.


maybe ive invested too much.
i dont know.

was emoing in class throughout the day.
i suck la.
why am i even in dhs, let alone dhs4K?
giving up is so damn tempting,
but ive given up on so many things already.
i cant do the same to myself.

though i just know i'll never catch up in chem, phy, math, or anything else for that matter.
and i didnt even do well for my best subject, bio.
stupid practical pulled me down drastically.
no,sorry.not that the practical was stupid,
teoee was the stupid one.

i know i'm a lucky child.i'm totally blessed and stuff.
wonderful parents, caring sibling(believe it or not), friends, and really nice teachers,
strangers who encourage me just out of nowhere,
and god, who's up in the sky, probably being more stressed than i am.

which is actually what makes the whole situation so horrid.
i had been gifted wtih 23 pairs of chorosomes and proper intellectual capacity, and i know i can do many things well,
but yet, i end up a failure.

what a disappointment.


been in a bad mood since morning.
especially since i was dead tired yesterday, and knew that i would be dead tired today too.
lucky wei talked to me, even though it made her gums hurt to talk.
thanks: )

of course, i'm still in a bad mood now,
and ive been trying to translate that bad mood into "sian-ness" for the whole day,
but sigh.

smiling's a real chore.

its times like these that i start reminding myself of things that people have once said to me,
things like "never put yourself down before others do"
"if you say cannot, then you will really fail. must believe that you can."
"i can help you."

you'll never guess where those quotes came from.
unexpected people give more meaningful surprises.

and yeah, i remember you and the help that you had given me: D
thankyou so much.
(and i dont even know how you look like.gawd.)

took 158 today.
was standing in the bus, away from hans and daph cos i was asked to shift inside the bus,
then someone alighted and there was an empty seat near me.
i didnt want to sit, so continued standing,
and 2 kind dhs boys(sec2s maybe?) thought i hadnt noticed the empty seat and asked me so so politely if i would sit down.
lol was rather impressed and surprised at the same time.
to think i thought ALL dhs guys were immature and non gentlemanly.
haha guess my generalisation also got exceptions de(:

anyway, the whole point is,
today, my impression of dhs male species changed for the better(though barely)
: )


hanxi and i both thinks it looks like a bulldog.
: D
abit mean, but true.

i am going to sleep.
shant go online today.

i'm fatally addicted to my blogsongs: \
i think i miss japanese lessons, even though i dont regret quitting.

quitting is hard.not quitting is harder.
especially on my inflated ego, HAHAHAHA.

gah, i shall go migrate to japan when i have enough $ and time,
and am economically stable enough(:
then i'll learn jap and really learn for the sake of learning: D


Monday, May 18, 2009
k,so i was wrong.
it wasnt that the red hot feeling disappeared,
its just that i havent been near enough to feel

today was yet another hot-hot-spicy-red creeping through my capillaries day: D
must be global warming.
and you were not even veryvery near me.
i must be insane.


Sunday, May 17, 2009
i wasted my sunday.
didnt spend any part of my weekend on studies at all.
and bio test's on thurs, PA on wed, tue probably coh,
mon probably slack.

i waste my life zzzz.

not very interested in appearing online nowadays.
not even signing in as offline sometimes.
just using the computer for the sake of using the internet.
like now.

i wasted my weekend.

wts.i hate blogs-.-
(k, this is so contradicting.)

i hate blogs grrrr.

and i'm going to mexico, btw.
: D
to catch some pigs.hahaha.

we needed to jihe at 530pm yesterday.
then we had abit of buffer time so we went to look for p2.
we as in fiona and i.(esther had guitar lessons)

then along the way, we asked guides "what time is it now?"
then the juniors answered. "uh...530pm."

and fiona and i went:
O.O at each other and the unspoken "SHIT." barely lingered in the air before we dashed off to jihe outside the audi.

then we were about to descend from the stairs when someone else said "oh, its 527pm."

moral of the story:
we value every minute and second as it is.

gave fiona and i a scare mien.
lucky had about 3 min to reach audi from tuanbu: D

highlights of telematch:
-carrying hei mu
-ban(1)-ing mu4 in the rain(i like rain)
-gladiator(yay with june!)
-(i missed the table soccer thing, but from what i heard, T2 did well!YAY, as predicted by zf)
-and uh...having the ventures to.."pop the question"?

highlights of post-telematch:
-tricia talking to daphne,jenn,hanxi and me
-holding daphne's hand as we made our way to investigate the vending machine(we never made it there), and having tricia feel abit worried for our...gender orientation(is there such a thing?).
of course, everybody knows daphne's straight, so there was no need to worry: D
-HAHAHA stepping on zhengxinyuan with hanxi!!(shhh.)
(its my lifelong dream ok??i was waiting for graduation day, but i couldnt wait anymore and did it yesterday-.-)
-doing algorithm march with hanxi(the funki babe HAHA)
-seeing weiwei, seeing jasmine,seeing yeoch somewhere outside but not so near our tuanbu.
-the stupid traffic light
-taking bus 12 instead of 14
-going home(this is the major highlight.)
-bathing(this is yet another major have no idea how good a bath sounds after guides.hahahaha)
-loving guides

k.i set like a million alarms today, and reminders.
"wake up."
"time for piano."
"you havent done your theory!"

they rung at 530am.
and i only woke at 930am.
then i thought it was early since i had piano at 11am, and decided to wake up at 1030am.
i woke up at 1130am.

huangching's posts made me realise that as the best cca is not more than the cca that you love(:

Friday, May 15, 2009
ptm was great!

after guides,rushed for ptm.
saw jasmine!: D
then talked about my name bring printed wrongly on the attendance list(yeo ee),
then i went to change,(into uniform and tie from PE)
and we went for dinner: D
(we didnt finish our food.)

oh btw, i had lunch with fiona: D

ok, then during dinner, kept receiving and giving calls.
telematch stuff.

then after dinner, had fun distributing feedback forms with charmaine: D

then talked to jasmine: D
then ushered people and timed them at mdm arfah's booth.
then talked to esther tan's mum and esther: D

then talked to binggeng and his brother(non blood) and discussed subject combi.
wahh, senior high sounds like pure horror):
i'm a P!
(like when it comes to organisational skills...1 thick file does it for us.)

P as in the INFP thingy.

k, then shiyi was being sad over something that i would have been happy about.
oh and shiyi's dad is still youngyoung de!

talked to miss koh in between timing for parent sessions(:
oh and found out that jas and i want the same combi!
may end uyp in same class next year gosh im EXCITED: D
if not same class also nevermind la.
but at least got abit of hope eh muahahahaa.

oh and then talked to fiona's mum about econs too.
talked for very long le, but i only found out she's fiona's mum nearing the end of the conversation.hahahaha.

then talked with kim, wannung, liwen before taking liwen's ride back to pasir ris mrt: D
then mrt-ed with wannung: D
talked quite abit, veryvery happy with that kind of atmosphere.
oh and Mr Sng talked to us for a while. he is so perfect D:
it felt somewhat awkward to talk to the school principal when he's like a saint and i'm like...-.-
but hahahaha i'm so proud of having Mr Sng as principal!

then just when we were about to leave, waved to li lao shi.
i thought she would just smile, perhaps, since she was talking to a parent, but she actually waved and said byebye!
awwwww i like her!: D
her smile is really radiant when she actually brings herself to showcase it.
: D

then talked in liwen's car: D
caught up with people whom i havent really crapped with for awhile.

then in the train, talked about demontors with wannung.
HAHA, funny: D
credits to shien usan etcetc for coming up with such a cool...reference name: D
its really very apt.

oh yar, btw, LIHUI I MANAGED TO live through ptm ._.

saw hazel(as in heather's sister).
woah long legs.hahahaha.
just like heather: D


hi.the above post was ended here arubptly before teoee dozed off.
she has forgotten what she wawnted to is 4.59am now.

did the bio worksheet that mskoh gave us.
and it was 12am alrd.
was about to sleep,thinking i had no other pressing matters to attend to,

but this nagging feeling hung around.

something was wrong.
i thought it was the feeling of not having undone homework,
but that feeling was quite,...

then someone smsed me.
and i shunbian checked my sent msg.

and wtf-.-
i realise i hadnt send them the sms to ask them bring drink cans D:

so how?
bring myself lor.
short of 5, but nvm, zf's patrol bringing.

i poured 4 cans of green tea into a large bottle and now i dont know where to put the cans.
if i forget to bring them tmr or oversleep,
i am soooooo gna hate teoee for it.
blame it on her.
> : (

set alarm le, asked parents to wake me le, and set about a million reminders that said "wake up now ^%@#%#!" in case i dont wake at my alarm tone.

so important things to note:
-bring tie(ptm)
bring pe shirt(guides)
bring...drink cans(imptimpt!!!!!)
so that i wnt get ^%#-ed for sleeping in cls tmr.
mathmathmath chem phy...
dry lsns.
will wither and die if teoees are placed in such hazardous conditions.

k, shall sleep.
its 1.11am.

(ok, got another nagging feeling creeping out.i'd better stay awake till it dawns on me that i have _____(idk what ive done)....)

then i panick, and sleep.
the end.


Thursday, May 14, 2009
sometimes its quiet.
yeah.but i can hear you.
say no more,

let it stay a fragrant white.

i'm abit sad):
the song itsumo sobani wouldnt play in this blog):
only allow 30s to unfun.

the real song's 4min plus haha
go listen!: D

guilty beauty love is sort of nice too.
by by by by TAMAKI 's voice actor.
(and i dont like kyouya's songs even though i like kyouya most from OHSHC)

kk, gna go algorithm bye!

YAY ive lost the addiction: D
thanks to the lack-of-choc-chip-cookie-and-only-oatmeal-available-incident.

: D
the choc chip cookie's addictive, but the oatmeal just makes me...full.

: D
telematch and ptm!
i cant wait for ptm: D
(though i still havent found anyone to go home with me!D:)
but nevermind: D
i am an I.
i enjoy personal space too,wheeeee.

gna go algorithm abit.
byebye: D

Wednesday, May 13, 2009
had fun going crazy with esther fiona and pearlyn today, toying with algorithm march moves.
we did the "weiwei" move too and ended up having weiwei %^@#!^ us(fio and i) when she saw.

sec2s and 3s are coming up with the moves.

esther fio pearlyn and i did the morning-toilet-trip-march.
seriously very funny,hahahaaa.
laughed alot today even though it hurt for me to laugh(abit of sore throat+alot of cough).
worth staying back today.

painted flag,
and zhengfeng came to help!: D
and pearlyn's art very good; )
esther very well prepared, she brought the palette, etc.
fiona can paint very well: Dand fast too.

so we finished it quickly.YAY: D

i like our flag!
: D
Orchid Ixora Lion
COOL RIGHT hahahahahaha.

telematch is cool.
first time working on such a massive activity with orchid: D
usually its split into patrols de(anyhow mix)
not that i mind,
but P2 ORCHID: d
awww, i like.

i seriously fall asleep every physics lesson):
and chem is no better.
bio...i usually try to keep awake.(unless im sick, or didnt sleep well/at all the prev night)

today during lessons,
i'd suddenly say
to people around me.
pretty random, but when they go "O.O"
quite funny too: D

today ruonan and i painted each other in class.
painted each other with oxygen and carbon dioxide.

ptm ptm ptm.
gonna have to stay loooooong into the night.
who'll go home with me this year?):
no more pri school classmates, no 4k people who's ushering and lives near/in the same direction/same part of singapore as me, guides anot?O.O

i should camp in school.
then go for telematch on sat morning directly: D

oh and today's a got-comb-hair-before-going-to-school-day.
: D
woke up early,
walked slowly to mrt,
and had a great time: D


wanying and i have eaten twice le.
though never together.
but still, we were exchanging experiences in class(LOL)
and i tried to entice ruonan into going hahahahaha.

anyway, went home with pearlyn today.
took same bus as zhengfeng(same bus by chance)though we didnt talk.
chatted with pearlyn and exchanged stories.
cool: D
took 12):
single deck de):

pearlyn and i talked about memories of guides(:
or more of, memories of that lady in red with black flowing hair, standing at a corner during a night activity.

i like the toilet-trip-algorithm-march.
very...entertaining: )

anyway, i shall go watch teeveeeeee
byebye: D
(oh and i saw chenteck today, smiling as gay as ever.HAHA.)

(P.S. look for fiona esther pearlyn or me if you want to know how the weiwei move looks like.hanxi probably knows it.)

Tuesday, May 12, 2009
today was a so-late-that-i-didnt-comb-my-hair-to-school-day.

didnt even bring my mimiwuqi D:

and i had coughing fits during LA.
made me miss esther, fio, huangcheng and jiacheng's presentation):
i spent LA in the toilet.
horrid day.
h1n1 ):

i must remember to bring paintbrush tmr.
yesyesyes.i must remember!
and i went home myself today.
196 came.
stephen boarded the bus.
then 12 came right behind.
and everybody at the bus stop got up 12.
and when the bus left, i thought:

sh*t.i could have taken 12 too.

too late.i waited more than half an hour(aiya i anyhow say de lol.i have no sense of time) for 14-.-
and jade/diamond/crystal came.
and we talked, then 14 came.
and she continued waiting for 196.

thats all.
oh and i wanted to cough in the bus too.
but was afraid i'd scare everybody, so i tried to stop myself from coughing and choked on myself-.-
stupidest thing ive ever done. gonna go.byebye.
btw, bio test's been postponed to next week(:
not that it makes much difference to me.

whats gotta come,
will come.

Monday, May 11, 2009
today was just another day.
i'm always hungry.

Sunday, May 10, 2009
happy birthday sarah: D!

sorry that i hadnt realise its today=x
all the best in your remaining 4537423176485856427341234876534 years of life!
hope you get to migrate to japan and fish out all the hothot sexies there yea?; D


why dont you ask me directly.
then at least i can give you a definite answer.

if you dont ask me, but yet, i answer,
then things are gonna get really out of hand.


happy mothers' day: D
have a happy mothers' day, jenn.hope your 123456789 children's made you gifts: )

oh and crystal is now called diamond instead.
though shiyi calls her jade.
shiyi: "teoee!you stupid!she's jade!!you actually believed that she's crystal??!teoee!!"

haha, i obviously know she's jade luh.
but to play along, she shall remain as diamond for now: D


Saturday, May 9, 2009
i dont know what pwn means.
doesnt it stand for anything?
or is it just a sound?

i like the sound of a telematch: D
and i like working with my bang mates(zhenling,zhengfeng): D
what a cool combination: )

+bean too(since zhenling's a bean)

yippie: D

we were once juniors too.

i ought to have remembered that.
just because they dont do guides the way we do,
doesnt mean that they dont love guides the way we do.

what we felt then, is what they feel now.

orh. end lor.

Friday, May 8, 2009
i wanna talk to esther tan badly.
but nevermind,
i'll talk to mo gui xiao mei until we meet again.
(i need to confess my wrongdoings): )

everytime i feel bad, i want to delete this blog.
no doubt you feel bad too.

but i know i'll regret it later.
so i'll refrain from being impulsive.
though its really tempting to delete since there are more pros than cons for my personal benefits.

anyway, what i had wanted to say when i typed the first word was,
sorry that i'm such a bitch.

i'd probably deserve a slap
though i know you'll never give me one (cos guilt is more tormenting isnt it?)

but i have my reasons
which may not seem valid to you, but plays an important role in my decision making

for doing what i do.
which a half of me wants you to know, but another half wants me to keep it quiet.

i wont say i'm sorry for doing/not doing it anymore.
cos i know the next time i see you,
it'll still happen.

just hope you understand that the problem lies with me,
and not anyone else.

i shall switch the computer off already
lest i feel worse and give in to the temptation of deleting this blog.
(which is my one and only blog excluding patrol, 4k, 2A, etc.)


Thursday, May 7, 2009

and i dont believe that 勤能补拙 cos i studied quite alot for phy and failed, while the rest of the world either got full marks or somewhere near it (though they had probably studied harder than i did.but i really did put in alot of effort for that test lor. so demoralising leh.)

success is 99% perspiration and 1% inspiration.
but it doesnt help when youre in 4k,
and you have that 99% while others have 100%.

of course, i'm not saying that i was 99%.
but i believe i was nearing 80% in effort lor.

well, as quoted from tzyyshuan(the famous quote),
life sucks.

: D
(though i love life: D)

and hey ruonan,
you are smart de lorh.
this one test(no, not refering to phy test) doesnt determine your ability.
and anyway, you did so well for your phy!
: D
ought to feel happier right?: D

oh, and i really like lie seok hua lao shi.
miss pear too: D
they're really cute.
(note: the above strictly expresses my personal opinion only.if you would like to disagree or make additional comments, please direct it to the correct authorities.thankyou.)

oh yea,
and i met jinni on the way home yesterday.
: )


pw was good(:
thank goodness for great project mates.

i hope all goes well for you.
you know who you are, dear.

sometimes, when life gives us lemons, make lemonade.
and in special cases like this,
squash that lemon and spit on it.
then throw it away and hope it decomposes peacefully.

: D

btw, tsh looked weird on his birthday.
dnt tell him that though.
its just a,...joking comment.
a vain person like him would probably emo over this if he ever learns of it.


hi. why are you so cold.

oh wait.
dont answer.

cos i dont care.

zzz.i hate being so vulgar.
k, apologise to all who have read my @$^$##! posts-.-

lazy to blog.want to sleep.

still abit sick.
(and no, not with swine flu/H1N1/Influenza A thankyou.)

Wednesday, May 6, 2009
i'm an angry kid.

i want to sleep.
why the hell is that so difficult.

gotta supress that damn anger

zuowen and chem file and other shit lining up.
and have to sign that fking withdrawal form.
and pay that stupid $12.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009
p2 orchid.

i'll miss them leh.
dearest orchidites.

): ): ):
the numbness is fading zzz.
i feel like panicking.
i dont want to leave p2!D:

guiding is my life.
i dont want to die):

i love life too much.

: D

usan said my balding rate is:

let B be the process of balding.


haha, very amusing: D
awww usan so cute yippie!(though isabella disagrees violently,hahaa)

sometimes, the only way to deal with life is to laugh it off.
why worry when you cant do anything to change the consequences?

lighten up.
life isnt as bad as it seems.

i was repeating it NON-STOP on the way home,
and people stared, cos i was speaking aloud,
but who cares?: D

i am quite well versed le: D

got one lady ask me,
"excuse me, are you alright?"
when i was

i really like pw!: D
and i like my group: D
because we're so diverse, we can tap on each other's strengths easily!: D


we're the definition of teamwork.
(ok sorry. am SO not modest-.-)

this feeling(very good feeling) reminds me of BeanBean and BangBang.
: D

lublub worxsh HAHAHAHA
( twit.)

kk gta go practice in front of a mirror.

Monday, May 4, 2009
jennifer: D

short post tired.
and i cant think of anything else besides "jennifer:D"

wonder how my sec3s are doing):

when the going gets tough, the tough get going.

Sunday, May 3, 2009
i want to paint.


My throat was parched and dry, and my clothes hung limp against my fair porcelain skin. I tried to croak out a few words to complain, but my voice sounded like tearing paper. I could feel my hair splattered onto my forehead in a messy mass, as frostings of sweat melted into the air, leaving only a sour stench beneath my nose. This was all too much, and I couldn’t take it anymore as I threw myself onto the wooden chair like how one may throw a towel over one’s shoulders. I could even picture myself as one of those dolls that had lost half of it’s stuffing, slouching pathetically in a shelf, waiting for my owner to give attention to me again.

some part of my yr2 Commonwealth essay thing.
i realise my writing skills have become really horrid over the past few years.
i cant write like that anymore.


youre very annoying leh.
dont read something you dont like lar.
probe into my blog for what.

especially since you dont like how i blog.

is there some unwritten rule that i must make sense in my posts?
cant i just type something for myself to see years down the road?


and whats wrong with kids nowadays.
talking about bgr at such a young age.
cant you just go focus on your studies?

why worry about population decline in Singapore?
thats the government's job.not for you to wreck your mind over it.

ive been around friends who dated young.
but it doesnt mean that just because theyre my friends, i'll end up like them right?

what i'm telling you, you'd better believe it.

and stop being upset over something that is not true.
i do not support bgr.
so there's no way of my participating in it.

> : (

get so upset over your misinterpretation of my posts for what.
it'll cause you to age.

then you'll wither and turn crinkly wrinkly.


Friday, May 1, 2009
i really love p2.

the first day guides opened their door to me,
it wasnt much of an event.
lots of chaos, sorting sec1s here and there,

when i was first grouped with esther and fiona, it didnt register in my mind that i'll be with them for the next 4 years.
to me, i just thought... i wasnt thinking at all.
my mind was still lost with my p6 class.

ok, so throughout the first few jihes, i was totally lost.
i kept mixing names of orchidites up, and wasnt of any help during activities.

then the after-school sessions of patrol songs learning started.

and i remember the times when we sat together, while jocelyn and gina tried about a million ways to get us to sing, and i remember them buying us drinks after that, and i also remember the 3 of us, esther fiona and i, being too shy to

then we started getting bolder by day.
though i still wasnt singing and was just mouthing along to the song(and this is what i do for the national anthem because i'm just so sure that i'll go out of tune when i sing), at least i dared to sit near gina and jocelyn already.

then we learnt how to climb the wall, how to climb the monkey bar(the guides way, not the monkey way), how to do the firemen's ladder/window, how to climb the rope.
then we learnt to pump, to tie lashes, and i remember eunice scolding us for changing out of our skirts in the canteen during guides because it was "obscene"(thats the first time i had heard that word), and then learning to change in the toilet while trying to squeeze among all the other changing guides, and ...etc.

then i remember our first mass change.
i went inside the canteen toilet, and froze.
so, nothing was wrong at all.
and i looked at yihui in a :\ way.
then she said, "aiya, we all change this way one.nobody will look at you.dont worry."

so there goes my first mass change.
done in silence and abit of an awe.
i never knew such a ritual existed.

then our first jihe was pt, and bbq.
the pt was,...
ok.i cant remember-.-
(im telling you, i was seriously blur.i didnt even think of myself as a guide the first few jihes)
the bbq was...awkward. didnt dare to eat much except for a marshmallow, which the sec2s insisted we must eat.

and i remember patrol corner in the elevated court.
that was when i got confused between jocelyn and eunice.
i thought they looked similar(LOL!i was seriously sight impaired)
and that was my first encounter with soolin, my first PL,
and shueling, my first PS.

after the after-school-gina-jocelyn-song-sessions, gina and jocelyn will go over to a photo thats been stuck on a notice board in the canteen.
and they'll oogle at soolin and tell us how pretty and seh, and smart and etcetc she is(:
and we'll all look at that photo of soolin and think, wow.she's like an idol.
and she's really just like they described;
pretty, seh, smart, cool, and everything a guide would want to be.

sometimes, eunice, simin, and esther will come teach us/talk to us too, though we spent most time with sec2s gina and jocelyn.
i recall a period when the Ms Fang language was in fashion.
the "moron" calling, etc.
in that period of time, everything was "disgusting", and everybody was a "fool".
it was quite funny.

i heard about Ms Fang through the seniors, and they way i heard it,
she was a monster.

i was terrified of her even before i met her.(and when i did meet her once because i had forgotten to bring my school badge, i hadnt realised that i had just survived a Ms Fang Encounter)

to think in sec3, Ms Fang became 3k's math teacher.
the horror!
i thought i was going to die.
(but i didnt and i grew to like her)

anyway, so in sec1, we did the noobest things, we learnt the most exciting things,
and we had no idea what guides would soon mean to us.

so atc came and we changed.
i started singing,
i started cheering.
and the seniors said, "we knew it. sec1s usually change alot after their first atc."
and its true.
my first atc patrol was p5, fiveters.
with iimelda, gina, xinyi, shuen, yilin, hillary, shien, emily, fiona, and me.(hope i didnt miss out anyone)
that was the first time i learnt of bras besar and its treasures.
arty farty stuff was everywhere!
it was pure heaven: D

it was the first time i used fabric paint,
and during camp prep,
we had quite abit of fun.
had to memorise scripts, had to make cheers, had to draw using fabric paint, had to memorise what each colour/design on our identity or flag represents...etc.

it was all new and exciting(:

and we cut baisheng, shou baisheng, whipped baisheng...

till inspection.

it was really scary.
our yr2s all looked so stressed and etc D:

then atc came and passed,
and we changed.

and i started seeing myself as a guide, started refering to myself as an orchidite,
and started knowing the difference between eunice and jocelyn.

then blah and lah, time passed and we became sec2s.
and soolin and shueling passed down):
then atc07 came.
and we had sec1s.
in atc07, i was with BeanBean p2.
my favourite patrol ever besides BangBang p2(pltc) and of course, ALL TIME FAVOURITE p2 orchid.

seems like i just like all P2s: D

beanbean consisted of zhenling, peishan, daphne, shujun, nicholette, sally, crystabelle, jiamin, liyee, wenxin, ...(hope i didnt miss out anyone.sorry), and there was inspection, when zhenling had to do 100 pumpings in one morning.
then we had wonderful cheers, wonderful identity, wonder patrol: D
and during atc itself, our counsellors told us that other seniors were impressed by our patrol spirit!we were spurred to continue cheering to our best and really, that sense of bond is hard to forget.
i think hweehwee was the one who told us that, cos both she and jocelyn were following the patrol during our activity(the raining one).
even though rain was supposed to dampen our spirits,
it didnt(;

so blah and tralala, atc passed(and i loved our banner, and identity, and cheers, and patrol, and etcetc!), and then we became sec3s.(oh and i forgot to mention, we went on outings, had self-pt, and remained cheerful even when the other patrols were all stressed out already because of problems unknown to me)

and ok, back to the topic.
so we became sec3s.
and the 38th batch passed down.
and it was a grand event, i thought.
and we got to present esther eunice simin with the little figurines that we had made for them in imitation of themselves, while we got a pillow(handmade) and 3 little flowers that represented some stuff which i forgot, a guide box, a scrapbook that listed many important things about guides,...etc.

and i managed to contain my sobs throughout the passing down.
remember the previous post about the bringing onions thing?

blah and then sec3, i cant remember much except for pltc.
pltc was great. BANGBANG p2 was great.
terence, xiaowei, justin, shien, zhengfeng, zhenling, xingjie, usan, daphne, and me.
we caught caterpillars and plotted to put it in p1's tent(lol.jk nia), we practiced setting up tents, we had some self PTs, we stayed back in container classrooms(3J) to do identity, and usan, xiaowei and i stayed at bras besar macs till the late night to do identity, and xiaowei's parents fetched us back. from then, the "people smart mah" thing came about, and so did the "we like it" thing, and the craze over doraemon, and the very nice cheers and very cool identity, and very nice flag, and etcetcetc.
and our impressions of each other changed for the better.

(oh i realise ive forgotten to mention coj.i wasnt very involved in that because they always met up on tue and thurs due to limited time to have coj prep, and i had 3rd lang.sian. but anyway, was in the same patrol as yongsheng, terrence, xiaowei, qianting, yijia, hanxi the imba kia who made the identity real nice...)

k, so sec3 passed.
and combined UG campfire passed.
and met new people.

and yr4 came.
39th batch passed down.
i cried right after telling fiona that i wouldnt(yea i suck la)
and esther said she's never seen me cry before then.
which made me rather sad cos i wanted to be remembered as someone who doesnt cry.and blah.

so atc08 came.
and i changed.
and i became mean to my juniors
because i expected too much from them(regardless of whether they were from p3 or not).
atc08, gaia p3.
despite their patrol not having people with art sense(sorry for being blunt), they were really not bad: D and i was still proud of them in the end.

so sec4 continued.
and i started missing my orchidites.
the patrol thats been with me since yr1.

the only flower i can draw is an orchid.
i even painted one,
and was rather satisfied/proud of it.
it was nice looking and i had only spent 1 to 2 hours to paint it.
but sadly,
i had painted it for some aep thingy.
after the aep teacher has collated all the aep students' paintings, she compiled them and gave the final product to some vip(i cant remember who), as a gift.
i miss my painting,lol.

p2 orchid has wonderful orchidites.
since my time,
soolin, xueling, eunice, simin, esther, gina, jocelyn, esther, fiona, teoee, michelle, yiting, crystabelle, adeline, cassandra, rachel, chaining, christina, chinyee, amanda, pohkah, shanice, danna.

and there is a list of things that we did together and etc.
but because its 351am in the morning and i'm dead tired already,
and because i dont know where to start from to explain p2's brilliance,
i shall leave it for yall to ponder over and decide,
what determines the value or the bondedness of a patrol.


bye, and i shall sleep,
still got pw later in the day.
shit ive just disrupted my body clock. life is ruined.

and i had a burger at 238am just now.
crazy right?
whats even stupider is that i had only eaten the burger cos i was craving for pickles.
eating a whole burger for 2 slices of pickles...
please dont learn from me unless youre aneroxic.



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I am an Orchidite
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