Friday, November 24, 2023
my Hailey - 8months
Hello this post is dated so soon after the prev cos I drafted the prev one and then forgot to post it until now. The previous one was 6month pp but now I’m 8months pp and it’s just been getting better. it’s unfortunate that I have to go to work cos I just want to be with Hailey all the time. And Hailey is current in her wanting-mom phase so I’m enjoying it while it lasts. She cries when I walk away from her though (to bathe, to eat etc), so that’s heartbreaking to see. but when I approach her, she always laughs and breaks into a crackle. her eyes crinkle when she’s happy. I always have a really good time playing with her and at night, chris & I review our daily loot (of pics of her) together before we turn in. I’ll say “wna see my loot?” and he’ll say “but does yours have THIS??(some other pic of her doing smth funny)” I never thought I’d be a “photo of my family on my wallpaper” kind of person cos I don’t like when people chap my personal life. I hate it when ppl ask about my home, my fam, see pics of me with them, etc..cos I like to keep personal things personal. Eg I don’t even like when colleagues ask me non-work stuff like where I go during leave. My office didn’t know I was married for a good length of time until idk who (probably my bosses) mentioned it. I don’t like it when people ask me “how are your parents?” cos bruh unless you’re 2 specific friends of mine, I don’t want to share that info with you. BUT. Here I now have a printed pic of Hailey on my phone case. It’s not for others to see but more for me. Whenever I see her naughty face on it, I just get a small little shot of dopamine hahaha. Ok anyway 8-mth Hailey is very active. She has clear preferences for people, food, and toys. she has a specific favourite toilet she likes to hang out in, she likes to grab my red hairband, she picks the “bicycle” puzzle out from the vehicle-puzzle-pieces set. she eats certain stuff and pfffffts out others. right now she seems to like mini oranges, tofu, spinach is ok, salmon. She doesn’t like omelette although she likes egg whites. She doesn’t like minced meat (probably cos they taste like pebbles since they’re so thoroughly cooked that they’re dry). She will roll around in bed and lunge at stuff to get them cos she hasn’t gotten familiar with crawling yet. She’s very close to getting it but shes very wobbly. She will pull herself up by grabbing my shirt. And she has stopped eating cloth which I kinda miss but I guess it’s for the better haha T_T. My wet sleeve days are over. Nooooo. She also doesn’t stretch her arms out in hopes of baobao anymore. She uses her newfound mobility to do even more hahaha. She’s very fun to be around ^^ Kk I’ll continue this post another time. I’m excited for my friend who’s in Germany to have her own bundle of joy! Now I feel secondary happiness for those who are gonna discover this dimension of happiness the way I did. ^^ Ofc everyone is gna have a different experience - me enjoying time with my bb doesn’t mean anything about my thoughts with regards to childfree life etc. I think at the end of it all, just respect that life is life, whether big or small, young or old, and fluffy or not etc. so set free that spider in your kitchen, redirect that ant away into the wilderness instead of squashing it, celebrate those who don’t want kids, and accommodate those who bring kids into public spaces like planes or restaurants. Cos only entitled asshats think ‘ppl nowadays are so selfish for not wanting kids’ and ‘if your kids are gonna fuss, don’t bring them out in public’ cos like bruh let kids express themselves. and let childfree people do too. you asshats don’t have claim over spaces except that of your own home. so stay safe in your basements, or 6 feet under. Thanks :> Thankfully I don’t know such people in my social circle (except this Barbara who said not having kids is selfish). So im just having an imaginary conversation with those netizens who fit the shoe. Hahaha kthxbye Thursday, November 23, 2023
my Hailey
Hello there. Since having Hailey I’ve wanted to post, but since 10 years before Hailey even came about, I’d already barely had enough time to do anything. Yet today here I am, determined to make even a short post because I don’t ever want to forget how I feel right now. Spoiler alert, having a baby like her is SO GOOD. If I’d known I was gonna get to see HER grow up, I would have never been on the fence about it. I would have swiftly pushed all worries and considerations aside. She’s the bestest baby in the world. She’s just enough fiesty, clever, funny, cute, optimistic, curious, chillax, and sweet. It’s all just the perfect temperament and mix for me. I love everything about her. I love it when she burps, and I love it when she poops. If it were anyone else I’d find it truly unacceptable but with her, I love it because it’s so fascinating that a small body like hers is working so wonderfully. It’s so awesome that she’s growing up well. every burp means she’s getting air out (that babies swallow when they drink from the bottle, and it hurts their tummies sometimes), and every poop means I get to analyze her state of health. It’s like a daily personality pop quiz, except the question is ‘how well are you digesting milk!’ rather than ‘which worm in Sesame Street are you?’ Mustard means YOURE A CHAMP MILK PROCESSOR! It’s so fun like that. Before deciding on having a kid, I was leaning towards ‘not anytime soon’ because I was really hung up over all the shit testimonies online and from disillusioned elders. In fact I even thought I’d not have a kid just to spite those who asked me to. But guys, I’m here to tell you, at 6mth postpartum, that if you have a kid because you want to experience THIS aspect of life, you will NOT be disappointed. cos you’re not expecting any roi although you’d hope for it hahaha but if they do love you in your senior years, count is as reciprocation and acknowledgement of a job well done. Maybe I’m having a good time cos Hailey is so awesome, plus what do I know, I’ve only been doing it 6months, but my gosh that FEELING when you make a baby laugh. It’s like I’m on the top of the world. That feeling when they lean into you cos they’re sleepy and they feel safe with you, PLEASE hold still my heart! When they’re grumpy and DONT want you to hold them, omg so cute they have such a PERSONALITY! they can do no wrong because they’re pure as pure can be. Don’t decide whether to have a kid based on whether you want to spite or appease those Barbaras cos you deserve to have a happy life independent of their opinion. Kids do seem to bring out some of the best and worst of people though. It’s a lot like a wedding tbh. And on another note, I’m really not one of those ‘I’ve always wanted to be a mom’ kind of person, neither did I have a preg glow or whatever. I vomited all 9months and was placed on multiple hospitalization leaves, and had a long list of symptoms one of which included excessive salivation called ptyalism. on 2 days in week 6 I was so sick that I asked God to take me away. I wasn’t even the one who initially wanted to have a kid, I had to convince myself to have one by reading a book to guide people who’re on the fence, which thankfully was quite a balanced book so I felt like I could own the decision that I make. and when baby was born, I didn’t feel moved or like some sea of light parted the heavens. i just thought ‘oh cute’ and was glad. it was more like when the baby started becoming a person with unique personality, around 2-3months onwards, that I grew more and more appreciative of the good lot I’d been given. Hailey is so pretty, so healthy, the perfect size and she has such bright eyes. Her sprig of hair (as Pearlyn calls it) is so cute?! How come hair can grow like cartoon style irl?? She’s so naughty I LOVE IT. She has a glint in her eye when she sticks her tongue out and makes faces. Even if one day she becomes a pulp or wdv, I know I will always love her because I saw her when she was still a fresh angel descended from above and I think (hope) I’ll never forget what her core is. I hope her life far surpasses mine. I’ll see to it that she is the most loved ever ever ever. Kk goodnight. Gotta pump milk at 3am and then 6am, before heading to work by 745am… then buy my parents dinner (which I try to do weekly)… reach home maybe 11pm. so my Wednesdays are super super long. :) not every day is like this but it really is its own type of hustle. Tata! Thanks for reading! I hope if one day I’m not on earth, that someone will be there to help me love her. TIA hahah |
Drakon
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