Friday, February 24, 2017
i would like to blog about my unexpected birthday on which several people's well-wishes made me very happy and i feel like i got a break from my depression. not clinical, but still, everything is in greys...or should i say, everything is "50 shades darker", hahahhaa , hhahaha *laughs into the abyss alone*

i really am awed by the cake pearl baked. really awed. dno what else to say. just really really appreciate that i have something like this. and her instagram post dedicated to me made me realise that in somebody's eyes, i am honest, kind, patient, wise and warm.
honestly i shuld know myself best, but it still comes as a surprise to learn that i'm not trash when i feel like trash.

syah's message made me laugh out loud, and i think i gta crown it queen of bday texts because of that. it really lifted me out of this fog. and so did amanda's, even know i havent seen her since aki yr1...oh how i miss her, she's really one of the purests souls ive met, and i'm so glad i have these two friends to share an unspoken understanding of the struggles of aki.

tejas texted me, and tejas is always my happy pill. always. we talk a little, and he says if i go studio i might see him. he says he'll wna pop by me. so. incentive to go to school? :) i love tejas so much. he's so...light. like a bouncing ball of light. :)

jess yang from my shigeru ban days messaged me too, sounding as mischievous as ever hahaha, i love that a little encounter can make me friends like these. i think she is my first legit taiwanese friend hahaha. she and her gf are gna come to sg in the near future - i cant wait!! really hope to be able to reconnect with her. totally ship this couple too <3 p="">
haolin, the ever-consistent buddy i have. he NEVER ever forgets me and i think there is just something special about a friendship like that, even if on normal occasions we dont talk. well, on normal occasions i dont talk to anybody lol only send pearl memes back and forth. i do believe of all primary school friends, he is the one most involved in my life. so thankful for that (:
well shenghan gave me a call on christmas though so that's nice too hahaha. a real phone call, yes! after eons of no contact hahaha

weiling sent a long message about us bfast gang :))) its always good to know youre in someone's mind. she and bea so cute luh..

kenneth, i meet him so i do everyone else i guess, yikes, and yet he still wants to be my friend. we were mere GEM mod classmates :) i think as time passes i appreciate these friends who take initiative to stay friends a lot a lot more. if not for them, i would have no friends haha.

even usan messaged me haha.. hanxi probably has smth to do with this hahaha, but this was unexpected :D

and nicholas, he's always the one to notice bday first and wish on the dragons chat :)))

well, i cant really mention more, but these are some that stood out in my mind because we held a conversation after, or because they were unexpected...or just consistent ^^

so. this post.
ive always known im blessed, but knowing isnt the same as feeling it.
i feel a little better. it was a break from the heavy, heavy trajectory ive somehow accidentally embarked on.
today i woke up thinking, well, ok back to the depression. but a 2min- "pass you cake" meeting with pearl became a "talk over lunch" session and well,
just gta say, its good to have friends,

never ever invest in someone who wouldnt invest in you. take a break. 


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