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Tuesday, March 17, 2015
people sometimes take their frustrations onto social media, but what better and more therapeutic way to blog it, because you get so much more space to rant?
that feeling when i KNOW ive screwed up. So many wrong answers that i gave, misdirected preparation...all for what? is experience and learning the consolation prize to everything?
the biggest reason for my inability to let it go, is that i feel ive let down the person who had tried to get me somewhere. Did i cause this person's embarrassment. I cant put a question mark beside that question because the answer is quite absolute in my mind.
I cant type fast enough or fluently enough to vent my shame. It's like a boiling kettle. All my insides threaten to burst out violently, and i can only release a bit of that pent up pressure in awkward spurts, because if its uncontrolled, i fear i may destroy myself.
I am just embarrassed and ashamed. i bring it to this platform, so i can be as dramatic as i see myself now, and not have to worry if this is too much to burden a person with if i were to seek comfort from real living friends instead. of course, this excludes the bff. she is unfortunately not excused.
maybe i dont want to talk about it anymore. maybe i wont rant too heavily to the bff either. cos the appropriate response to this all is just, "get over it."
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Drakon
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