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Friday, July 4, 2014
looking at photos of my juniors from guides and updates on their life via social media makes me realize how much they've grown and how much older i must hence have become. My three dearest gems yiting michelle and crystabelle have all blossomed into such beauties, it's touching and possibly quite strange too. I also learn more about other juniors through facebook more than i ever did in real life. For example, discovering that rachel's sister is actually rebekah..who's in aki with me now, and well, it extends beyond my patrol, really. Claire, Jiamin, Adelyn, even Cas who is still quite the weirdo..i think, hahaha (yes yes the latter two are orchidites, i tend not to be consistent in my rambles).Tonight is one of my lows. I suppose i might seem to swing easily from one mood to another from the looks of my blogposts, but while it takes a second for you to jump from one post to the next, i have had life happen to me in between so i hope i dont seem toooo erratic for yall. ... ...but yes i'm erratic. It was all fine and dandy till like an hour ago because i tend to overthink and am perhaps overly sensitive in certain aspects. yet for all the apparent expression and release that blogs offer, anonymity and indemnity against haters are not one of them, so i sometimes end up cryptic (not that i have enough readership to have haters hahaha so far in all these years, only one could count.) I want to rant about my insecurities and bash myself but i know that ironically this isnt the platform because i'll have people calling me out for being an attention whore or even worse, help them realize i'm all the things that i feel ugly about. so here i am, fingers hovering the keyboard but really, not saying much of what i came here to say. most of life is imaginary. our only point of contact with it is in the moment, and everything else is a reconstruction or a prediction. |
Drakon
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