Monday, April 7, 2014
The nights have never been more lonely. Its another one of those human conditions that surface when daytime distractions give way to a raw awareness of self.
Nothing really displaces this void. Momentary occupancy by welcomed distractions such as work, play, and time with people I care for could happen, but when more thought is given to this state of solidarity, it is futile to deny of its existence and its need.
Having family, friends, and even a significant other does little to alleviate this condition. I might even venture to say that having since been attached, I've become even more keen of the impossibility of feeling otherwise, because even with all three groups of people surrounding me, I can only depend on myself for true 24/7 company. It is only when I converse with myself in my head that I understand and interpret myself without fear of misinterpretation. No one really knows another.
Despite this awareness, though, I'm not pessimistic. I am but solemn in acknowledging it. At least God gave us beautiful distractions to while our time away on the amazing Earth he has created. There is intuition and there is science; the former of which helps me feel loneliness, and the latter of which gives me perceived understanding of it, so that I will not fear it. There is also choice where there is none; I cannot decide if I will accept this lonesome feeling, as it creeps upon me without permission, but I can choose the kind of understanding that I want to give it, hence dictating my approach to the condition of self.
Well. It just makes me wonder about people who attribute loneliness to the state that they are in - whether they are missing family members, friends, or are single. Loneliness cannot be solved by adding names to your repertoire. Single friends, sometimes being attached even amplifies this feeling, because when you add another happy distraction to your life, there will be moments when you cannot access this source of contentment, and will have to confront the void even more vividly. When the distraction isnt available, the void becomes even more obtuse and apparent. So, yeah. I guess that's all there is to it.
Yep.
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