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Friday, December 3, 2010
today was a good day :)went to white sands macs to meet shimin and wenzhong for SC stuff. bennu had some ogl meeting, so when i reached, terrence and chenteck were there too. the intended meeting was rather short, cos everything was quite straightforward and my lappie died anyway, so after the meeting, when i realised noone was leaving, i just sat around. then they launched into a conversation that was quite different from conversations i usually have. it was about futures and pasts. i liked the theme, haha, but i couldnt contribute much, cos even though i ramble alot around people like pearlyn and esther, both of whom are more listeners than talkers even though we have balanced conversations, i'm very quiet around those whom i'm not especially familiar with. their discussion was very dynamic, personal, and insightful. i'd love to listen in on more of these conversations. i think shimin's a really great person to hang around. they talked about financial stuff, about how they're going to earn money; about future spouses; about pasts that changed them; and i love how open they were about sharing their experiences. me? i couldnt do it. i dont just open up to people like that. i'm quite an introvert, and i'm only extro when i know those im with, and how they'd respond to my antics. they asked shimin what she'd want in a boyfriend, and she answered so smoothly. when they asked me later, i gave some weird answer that i wasnt very sure of either. "he wouldnt be vain" like, what am i talking about right? that shouldnt really be the main point, but at that point in time, that was all i could recall from the previous discussions ive had with myself. chenteck said i should find some person from (i forgot the country) cos they dont bathe and dont care about how they look. LOL. i mean, ya la, everything should be in moderation lo. he should be conscious of his appearance, but not vain mah. its going to be bimbotic, but someday i shall do up a list of traits i think my future boyfriend should have. (especially now that i have had such a conversation to back me up. i mean, at least i'm not the only one who's coming up with criteria right? ) they also asked me whta i wanted to be in the future. i dont know. i sort of what to be a psychiatrist, but that seems too...i dont know. common. i want to do something special, you know. not just throw myself into one of those occupations that society has designated for us. they talked about making investments, starting businesses, etc. i didnt really join in, cos im scared of being ambitious. investments and stuff, i dont really understand them. i dont play with money cos i dont know how to. i dont know if i want to be successful. what if i cant handle it? its not as easy as "oh, cannot handle ah, then dont do it lo" cos if youre already successful but cant sustain it, then the fall'll be even bigger than if you had never climbed at all. its like, if you dont climb at all (visualise a building and lots of flights of stairs), at least you could comfort yourself and think "hey, i couldhave reached the top" but trying means knowing, and knowing isnt such a great idea sometimes. they say people fear the unknown, but i think otherwise. i fear the known, because when its known, possibilities disappear, excuses go away, and youre stuck with the truth. something that never changes. something that kills imagination. i'm just cowardly, alright. i'm going to start that list soon. bye for this post. |
Drakon
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