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Saturday, October 23, 2010
sometimes, 'screwed' doesnt even begin to describe the condition one is in.i went to the cc yesterday to finish a book, after the aep nite thing. the book was not interesting. quite the opposite, in fact, but i couldnt just leave it midway. my phone had run out of batteries, so i used the clock at the cc to guide me. in order to make it back before my new 11pm curfew, i started making my way back at about 1030pm. i had planned to take a long walk. it felt weird to stroll as slowly as i did in the central area, near the malls and stuff, since everyone else was rushing. it was as though i was swimming through a different, retarded time zone, while everyone else passed by me, drag-free. i hadnt wanted to reach home. go home, yes, but not reach it. walking has a very calming effect. but i couldnt loiter around the area, because i was paranoid after reading another book about a serial killer and rapist. well, nothing interesting happened. i stopped to look at lizards and cockroaches, like i mentioned last night, but thats the most that had caught my attention. i made a plan to go to the cc again today, dressed in yellow and white, because those were happy colours. but i woke up late today, at about 10am, and had to do abit of science society stuff, before i could go out. plus, i realised that i dont have any pastel yellow clothes. most of my wardrobe's navy blues, and school based attires, which are anything but 'happy' or 'calming'. they speak more of 'lazy', and are always worn when i'm too lazy to pick out something good. so yea, i'm still at home. just showed my parents my report book. no biggie. i got cheated of 1 attendance day though. so did pearlyn. Mrs Chang said that it was troublesome to reprint the results slip, so she asked us to make do with the attendance flaw, and said that it was our fault for not notifying her of our presence. i'm not happy, of course, because i feel that if that excuse was acceptable, i could also spot calculation mistakes in my test papers next time and not inform the teacher about it cos its troublesome to change my marks. but what can i do? we are, but pawns in a chess game. the authorities are the players, and we go by their rules. perhaps naivety may have led me to think i could believe otherwise, but growing up means travelling further and further away from utopia. i'm not just saying these because of that attendance thing. its just a small example of the many unjusts and inconsistencies in life, where people often make exceptions to the rules that they have come up with. yea. i told my dad last night, ' pa, lao shi jiao wo drop chem.' when i reached home. 'ok. good. chi bao le mei you.' '... chi bao liao.' ... if you had parents like mine, so easy-going, so unexpecting of you, wouldnt you want to give them more to be proud of? ok, perhaps even if you dont have parents like mine, you'd still want to do that. lol. what i stupid statement i had just made. i think i'll go read what other art stuff, or life lessons zhou has to give. (: then i'm going to the cc. |
Drakon
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