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Thursday, July 15, 2010
maybe i am just a storybook character. i will remain stagnant in the memories of a child after her mum finishes this bedtime story.
maybe i'm just a random character in a story. so the child may not remember me at all.
i could exist solely because the main character walks into a crowded market in a particular chapter, and i need to be there so the market can look crowded.
my name may not even be mentioned.
the loud merchant would be noticed. the little beggar would be pitied. the pickpocket would be stealthy, but the child would still be aware of his presence. he is somewhere, creeping through the mass of people who are bickering over the price of fish.
i would just be 'the crowd'.
nobody knows me. i am not a person.
nobody's watching me. the loud merchant's not calling to me. the beggar doesnt beg from me. the pickpocket is not targeting me either.
he is eyeing the main character's money pouch. When he steals it, the main character will weave into another chapter, where he goes through much hardship because he had needed the money for something important, and ends up a tougher, better person at the end of the story.
i will always be in the crowd, in the market.
i will not follow the main character through his life. i am only part of that particular chapter.
i see where he is going, although he is blind to his future.
i see the story.
i see more. this is because i am detached.
when i am detached, the market doesnt distract me.
i can glide through the book, and know what to expect.
it is a strange feeling.
there is someone else who reads this, and says, she does not see. i see her. i see her saying this. she is blind to her future.
she does not know she is the main character.
maybe its just a cycle. everybody is a character. we are both the main character, but also the forgotten ones simultaneously.
complex, isnt it?
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Drakon
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